Pontypool

Allow me to acknowledge my man crush; I love Stephen McHattie. There I said it and boy it felt good to let that out. A wee bit of catharsis always feels good. It should also be said that McHattie is a fine actor whose work should be enjoyed by all and sundry. Pontypool is no exception.

Pontypool is actually a small town in south eastern Ontario, Canada so I really have to wonder what the Pontypool chamber of commerce, every little town has one, really felt about a movie like this being set in their little town? Would they be excited about the increased tourism from 3 people to 5 people or would they be afraid that the movie might ruin Pontypool?

Considering a book had already been written using its name the cat was out of the bag. Except books are read by far fewer people than who see movies, even though the book is almost always better than the movie. This I know from personal experience have read the book and seen the movie on a number of films. The book, in this case, was called “Pontypool Changes Everything”. Have I read it: no. Am I about to read it: no.

Banging on the window

On to the movie… on his way to work on a cold, snowy morning radio DJ Grant Mazzy, McHattie, has an eerie experience that frightens him and sends a cold shiver down his spine. Mazzy turns out to be an egotistical twit who was hired on to this small town radio after annoying his previous employer ,who we are led to believe was in a bigger market; perhaps Toronto?

Throughout the morning he finds himself being frustrated by his producer who wants him to become someone he’s not. His frustration continues through morning when there come reports from the stations weather helicopter, which turns out to be some guy in a Dodge Dart parked on a hill using sound effects – how often have you wondered just how your local radio station could afford a helicopter when most can’t even afford live DJs 24 hours a day? I’ve heard some weather planes and helicopters are often shared with the local police department; neither could afford to purchase and operate a chopper on their own so they pool resources.

DJ losing control

On this particular morning, reports of a riot in the small town of Pontypool come through to the folks in the radio station but it took hours before confirmation could be made. When it was confirmed there was talk the rioters making strange noises and words.

Later strange reports come in from various parts of the mid-Ontario region but still nothing confirmed. Even when talking to the local police things are not cleared up. The 3 people in the radio station are confused as reports come in of naked people with strange eyes pulling people out of a van and eating the poor folks from the van, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Stranger still, are reports that are coming in from a French radio source somewhere.

The French, when translated, warns people to stay indoors and not to use terms of endearment when speaking to others. Lastly the message states it is safer to speak in French only and for greater safety no one should translate that message from French into English.

Face smashing

In the end it was words that caused the problem and words that fixed the problem. I think. The ending was confused and muddled but the actors were trying hard to deliver a script that seemed half finished. They seemed as confused as those of us watching.

McHattie tried, oh did he try. He gave every ounce of every bit of him and even his acting skills could rescue this piece of nonsense.

I’d skip Pontypool if I were you, but then I’m not you am I? I’d even skip visiting the town.

Things I like about Canada:

1) Canadian bacon

2) Hockey

3) It’s easy to find on a map. Try finding Nauru -betcha haven’t even heard of it.

Plants Vs Zombies pc version

What have we got here? A click fest of a game. A simple little thought required game. A game that will appeal to the casual gamer but maybe not so much the hard core gamer, but they’re missing out.

Gimme a hand.

Far too often so-called hard core gamers miss out on little jewels of a game because they look down upon those kinds of games and gamers. To do so is a crime and they should be slapped with a floppy disc.

Hardcore gamers do know that this is what is called a tower defence game. Tower defence games are a dime a dozen and they are available for every device out there. Most of them are not so good, I’m being generous here. Chances are you’ve played one even if you didn’t know what the kind of game was called.

Plants V Zombies

Back to our game; our town, nay the world, has been over run by zombies and the one thing you’re worried about is gardening. Topiary to the rescue. As the Zombies attack they move forward in

waves. Each wave getting thicker and thicker with Zombies. Your job is to kill off the zombie and waste no time in doing so.

You have no shot gun to protect but you do have plants; there are plenty of games in which you get to use a shotgun or whatever weapon you should choose. You plant your plants and they provide the only offence you get in the game so you had better plant quickly and choose your plants carefully.  Your basic plant choice is a pea plant which  shoots peas at the ever advancing swarm of zombies. Like many games you must have a power supply; you know, something that will provide life to your plants and give you the chance to plant them.

Million zombie march

What could we possibly get to provide energy for our plants? Developer Pop Cap went with nature, if it’s not broke . . . , and decided the sun would do the job. So to get sunshine you need to have Sunflower plants. You plant a few of those and you have a small power plant. Also the game randomly allows sun to drop from the skies; pretty useful in the beginning when you need sunshine to allow your plants to grow – even the sunflower must be grown by you soft touch.

As the levels roll on you get more and different plants. Each plant has a specific job and some are of more use than others. After a certain point some of the zombies drop coins, I suppose the coins are left from when the zomboids used to be human. Collect enough of these coins and you can purchase different items from your friendly neighbour, he runs a little store in the middle of a zombie invasion. You’d think he’d be off fighting is own zombie wars and be far too busy to offer to sell you things but I suppose he’s trying to prepare for a post-zombie world where he’ll have more coins than anyone else.

Good things about the game include: (there are a ton of good things)

1) The pacing. It sucks you in at an easy pace.

2) The music and voices. The music is spooky and very appropriate and the voice acting, limited as it is, give the zombies character.

3) The variety within the game. PvZ presents so much variety that the player never has a chance to get bored.

Which plant to use where?

Some not so good things include: (there are few bad things)

1) It can become a wild clickfest so if you are even a little slow with your clicks you won’t have much of a chance.

2) Is not a relaxing little game that allows you to kick back and put your feet up – unless you want to lose in short order.

3) It’s so addictive that it was difficult to stop to take a screen shot on higher levels.

What do I think of Plants Vs Zombies? How can anyone not love a game with such depth and character. It’s been a few years since it was released for the PC but if you have never played it now is the time. Don’t miss this fun, charming, colorful, playable and enjoyable little game. I’m sure there is someone somewhere but I’ve never heard of anyone not liking the game and if you give it a chance I’m certain you’ll like it too.

 

In the Flesh

What if becoming a zombie was the process of a virus? If our scientists were then able to cure the virus what would that lead to? What would any of this lead to? In the Flesh attempts to show what might happen under this scenario.

In the Flesh, from here on to be referred to as Flesh, opens after the zombie virus has hit the British Isles. Oh, this is a product of the BBC and oddly its not the only mini-series made by the BBC about zombies. Go figure. So the zombie virus has hit and what happens now? Well, the British have developed a vaccine to cure those afflicted.

This vaccine must be applied directly into the spinal cord via the back of the neck. There are some zombies who do not respond to the vaccine and the state simply takes care of those non-responders. How they don’t exactly say but we can use our imaginations.

Wow! What a hottie!

We follow teenage zombie Kieran who has been receiving treatment for some time and his physician has determined he can go back home to be with his family. Currently, he and other zombies under treatment are in a military facility. The doctors don’t like patients calling themselves zombies but prefer the term “partially deceased syndrome sufferer”. Yeah, like that makes it any better, he’s still a zombie.

Partially deceased syndrome sufferers who are in line to go home have to have a package go with them. This package contains not only the anti- zombie virus but contact lenses to match their original eye color because apparently being a zombie changes your eye color, who would have thought? They also get a makeup kit. Yup, even the guys get a makeup kit because becoming a zombie has changed their skin color to a deathly pale pallor and the makeup puts the life back into their faces.

Even the Living Dead love computers

Not that going home is easy. No sireee. There are those who don’t see anything but a flesh eating zombie and those folks would like to see the former zombies dead. This mainly comes from a force called the “Human Volunteer Force” who felt it was their duty to wander around killing off zombies. Sometimes they net and trap the zombies because the government  is offering cash for the bringing in of a live zombie.

Now, there is a gay love sub-plot which might offend the more prudish of us but suck it up. That’s life even if you are a zombie you can still love as you did before. Actually that’s kind of a nice thought.

Kirean develops a friendship with a female zombie who has a much harder time fitting into society than he does. After a while she zips off to a commune to meet someone called the Undead Prophet. Apparently, prophet boy has the ability to allow zombies to live a happy life away from the prying eyes of  uninfected humans.

Is this worth a watch? Absolutely, if you can find it. There are only 3 episodes so not everything can be covered in any detail but they dropped the ball with this Undead Prophet. They tried to set him up as being a counter culture guru for those suffering from partially deceased syndrome. The problem was that they brought him up and they didn’t do anything with the idea.

He really has a pain in the neck

It seems there will be more episodes in 2014 and maybe then they can explore this Undead Prophet and his cult following. The prophet was the most interesting thing after we figured out the basic plot. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to know how is compound worked. I wanted to know everything about the Undead Prophet even it was just some internet hoax – because that’s where they could find the most info about Prophet boy. Maybe next time.

As for the 3 episodes that we have; it’s fascinating to watch the undying love of family and the prejudice that can be brought out in other folk. In some ways it speaks to many things that are happening in society today for we have unconditional love and prejudice everywhere you look.

If you can find it, this is a don’t miss.

Things I like about Britian:

1) the BBC for making shows like this

2) Progressive Rock – the best prog rock was always British

3) Comedians who make fun of royalty

Land of the Dead

This 2005 movie brings a fun new twist to the whole zombie genre. While I haven’t gotten bored with the living dead it was fun to see a new take on things. Oddly, this film was both written and directed by the man himself, George A. Romero. Mr. Romero, for anyone who was bitten by a zombie and doesn’t remember, is the godfather of zombie movies. He gave us the classic “The Night of the Living Dead” .

George Romero gave us a new breed of zombies. Earlier zombie move were much different that what Romero brought to the screen. He both wrote and produced it and had a hand in any number of sequels, including this. Although it would be a stretch to call Land of the Dead a sequel.

Simon Baker takes the lead in this zombie re-telling. Just so you know, I hate Simon Baker. Never liked him and I never will. There is something about the man I find truly irritating so when I stumbled across this movie I almost said no. No way am I watching a movie with Simon Baker. That was until I saw John Leguizamo had a starring role.

For as much as I dislike Baker I love John L. there is something about his ability to truly in habit a role that I like. He is at his best as a sharp tongued hustler and that he is here. Leguizamo is terrific in this film.

John L.

I was surprised to find another favorite in this movie: Dennis Hopper. I have loved Mr. Hopper  ever since my first viewing of Easy Rider. He had such a laid back attitude and he brought that element to most of the parts he played.

So it’s 2 to 1 in the acting department and 2 for 2 in the George Romero writing and directing department. That’s good enough for me. Truth be told I likely would have watched this movie even if Romero hadn’t been involved.

So on to the movie. Well, you have the living dead thing sweeping the nation. Zombie bites human and human becomes zombie and the cycle repeats its self. The survivors have walled themselves into a city where they have a military that patrols the walls and fortifications to ensure no zombie infiltration.

The Great One

Inside the city you have people from all strata of society. The rich living in luxury high rise buildings where all the amenities of a great life are at their doorstep.  The rest of the populace, the vast majority, live in the city below living hand to mouth. Doing their best to eek out an existence. Much like society today.

The zombies are an odd bunch. We see them often because the government has organized armed teams to go out into the surrounding areas to pick up food and medicine from cities and towns long abandoned to the zombies.

The teams set off in armored vehicles to search different areas for food and they have to travel further and further away the city. When we meet the zombies they are just chillin’ doing zombie things. Oh and they are the usual slow poke zombie that Romero made famous. So with guns and vehicles they are little threat to the humans.

Huh?

Until we discover they have evolved the ability to think. Yup, we have thinking zombies here folks. On first blush you might be giving your head a shake and wondering, “Gee, what’s up with thinking zombies?” That would be a good question.

Well, without giving too much away, and I may have already done that, if you can think you can organize and you can plan. Even if you are a pokey-ass zombie, if you have the ability to think you can kill.

Enough about the movies details. The performances were delicious except for the aforementioned Mr. Baker. Leguizamo has once again proven he is a master of his art. He is on his game and is wonderfully fun to watch.

Sadly, Mr. Hopper is no longer among the living but this performance shows why he has been long considered amongst Hollywood’s best. If you are unfamiliar with the work of  Mr. Hopper you owe it to yourself as a movie fan to check out his work. You won’t be disappointed.

On the move

Land of the Dead is a terrific take on an old genre. It’ll make you see zombies in a whole new light. And oh what a fun movie this was. Too bad they made the choice to go with Simon Baker.

Forget  about my dislike of Mr. Baker and watch this movie – you’ll enjoy it.

Why I love Dennis Hopper:

1) Easy Rider

2) Apocalypse Now

3) Mad Dog Morgan

Survival of the Dead

George Romero is at it yet again with the 2009 film “Survival of the Dead”. I suppose as long as he can continue to think of movie names that end with dead we can continue to expect more zombie movies by the man himself. Considering he made very little money from his infamous “Night of the Living Dead”, maybe he is entitled to make some cash by pounding out zombie after zombie movie.

Besides, who else has the credibility to bring undead movies to life? He devised the zombie standard that we all have come to know and to love. Not only that but he has had the imagination to expand on his original vision of zombies and has dreamed up a variation or 2 just to make things interesting.

Survival of the Dead (Survival) has humans vs. zombies vs. humans vs. humans. A group of soldiers has banded together to try to ensure their own safety. During their journey they rob other survivors of what they may have. Soldiers have weapons that most folks don’t have. Surprisingly I have yet to hear the zombie argument as a reason against gun control but someone is likely to make it sometime.

Full of holes

Survival was filmed in Canada and stars a couple of Canadian legends. Wayne Robson  (rip) and Kenneth Walsh are very good in their roles. Sadly, Robson’s role was ended before it should have but Welsh as terrific as Capt. O’Flynn.

The rest of the cast is Canadian as well but they are just not up to the standard set by Welsh. Overall the acting rates a C but that’s OK. Zombies are always fun.

Tasty takeout

Seeking refuge on Plum Island, off the east coast of the United States, the army buddies hope to find a land free of zombies. That’s not quite the case as the zombie disease (is it a disease?) has hit everywhere including this little island.

When the soldiers arrive they find that many of the zombies have been chained up for the entertainment of the islanders. Not only that, they also find out that there is a Hatfield and McCoy type feud going on. So bullets are flying at the zombies and at each other.

While waiting for help to arrive the islanders decide they should try to train the zombies to eat something other than humans. Unfortunately nothing catches their gastronomical interest. One poor soul is chained in a pen with a relative of Porky Pig but bacon was of no interest to him.

Sarge Nicotine Crockett is portrayed by the memorable Alan Van Sprang. I say he’s memorable but only for his over the top portrayal of a hard bitten, seen it all, tough guy sarge. You know, the typical kind of portrayal made famous by R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket. Mr. Van Sprang has not the skills necessary to pull off the job.

Human to zombie

The same holds true for the rest of the cast. They try hard but are unable to make anything believable. Ya gotta love them for trying. That’s part o what makes this movie such fun.

The military team join in for a not so rousing gun fight at the OK Corral between the Hatfields and McCoys. They join one side or other – it really doesn’t matter which one because before long it’s a melee involving the undead as well.

There are a couple of fantastic death scenes by the 2 clan leaders. Purely laughable. This, of course, brings an end to all the feudin’ and fussin’ and everyone wanders off to whatever fate they might find. The military boys get back on a ferry for the mainland while the undead on the island chow down on a horse. They have finally learned to eat something other than humans.

So does this bring us to an end of Romero undead movies? I certainly hope not.

Things I like about islands:

1) They are often very isolated

2) Zombies can’t swim

3) Islands, warm tropical breezes, laying in a hammock

Plague of the Zombies

During the 1960’s British film maker Hammer films produced some of the most atmospheric and spooky movie of the era. Their movies have a certain feel that is still there more than 40 years later. Hammer even manage to work their atmospheric goodness on the 1966 movie Plague of the Zombies.

I have often felt that Hammer not only uses the same actors from movie to movie but also the same writers and directors, the same clothing designers and the same sets. So much seems so similar from movie to movie but then that is part of the charm of a Hammer movie; it feels like you’ve been there before and then whack the movie changes and leaves you if not frightened certainly in awe of what you’ve just seen.

OOOhh Halloween masks -cool

Plaque of the Zombies stars Andre Morell as the professor who is called to a small Cornish village to try and explain the mysterious deaths that have been happening.  Morell is wonderful as a upper class Englishman. He has that stiff upper lip thing going on and knows how to make it work for him.

So handsome in a mask

This movie is a 2 full years prior to George A. Romero’s classic work, Night of the Living Dead, but it’s apparent that Romero saw this movie and was perhaps even motivated to make his own Zombie movie.

Plague of the Zombies is a wonderfully pleasant atmospheric movie in the true Hammer style. The plot isn’t that deep but it serves the purpose of providing us with zombies. These zombies are developed by means of voodoo that the villain learned while he spent some time in Haiti. He even went to far as to bring back a pair of Haitian drummers who, because they would be noticed in a small Cornish town, seem to be kept locked in the basement waiting for our villain to call on then to drum their little hearts out.

Who goes there?

Not keeping these 2 guys in the basement would cause far too many questions because they are black. 2 black Haitian drummers wandering around in Cornwall would like cause a commotion. When it comes time for these guys to drum, man can those cats wail.

What’s important here is not the story or acting which are both very good. No, what is important with this movie is that George A. Romero saw it and this is where he learned what a zombie was and what it looked like.

I like dolls

While Romero skips the who Haiti voodoo thing for his zombies, he does steal the idea of what they look like and how they move. Oh and he added the brains and that a person must be bitten to become a zombie. The zombies in Plague were made to carry out the desires of one man. The undead as controlled by an evil human force . Romero’s zombies act on their own volition.

A workshop, how quaint

If you love horror movies and are a fan of zombie movies the Plague of the Zombies is one to see. Romero saw it and if there were no Plague of the Zombies then there would be no Night of the Living Dead. A bold statement, I know, but check it out for yourselves. George A. Romero did.

Things I like about plagues:

1) Reduces the population

2) They are indiscriminate

3) They don’t happen very often

[REC]

I’ve met some folks who were confused by the meaning of the title. It is nothing more than short for [REC]ording. You see it inside of video cameras when you are [REC]ording. And thus the mystery is solved.

So [REC] follows 1 day in the life of a firefighting unit as filmed by a local TV crew for a show called “While You’re Asleep“. After watching a bit of silliness following the shows’ host cavort with the hunky firemen.

[REC] stars Manuela Velasco as the TV reporter. It seemed as though this TV presenter might not have had many jobs previous to this While You’re Asleep. She came across as over eager and at times silly. This seemed to be a choice made by actress Ms Velasco.

Hey, she’s cute

When they are called out on an emergency they head to an apartment building wherein they find a bunch of panicked tenants. They are shown to the apartment of an old woman. When they break down the door the old woman becomes extremely violent biting a police officer and a firefighter. The old woman is killed.

What is this? Why did I include it

Authorities make an announcement from outside the building telling the tenants that the building has been quarantined. Meanwhile other people have become ill and another dies.

The folks inside the building are in near panic mode when they authorities implement procedures that include covering the building in a thick plastic. No one inside the building has any clue what is going on and no one on the outside is giving them any answers. Cell phones and televisions are not working so no information is getting into the people in the building.

There is, obviously, so much more going on but I hesitate to tell you anything more for fear it would spoil things. I liked this movie. It had a good amount of blood letting and suspense.

Wiping up the blood

[REC] is a fairly short movie. It clocked in at about 1 hour and 20 minutes but there was no wasted effort. Far too many movies include filler material that they drop into a movie to keep the time at a certain length. I suppose the fear is that if a movie is too short then people will feel ripped off. So they pad the thing with excess crap. You can see it in so many films. A few minutes here and a few minutes there and then you have a “proper” length movie.

If more movies took their lead from [REC] they would have tighter scripts and everything would be much snappier. [REC] has no wasted space. Everything that is in the movie belongs in the movie and that makes for a great movie. Just when you think there is a lull in [REC] things explode again. It is this near constant explosion that make [REC] great.

I suspect that if [REC] had been any longer there would have been crap that it didn’t need. Just when you think you know what’s going on in [REC] is when you get a surprise that startles you as much as it does the people on screen. We see soon enough just what is causing all the problems and like I said it’s not what you think.

Manuela Velasco gives a riveting performance. At the beginning, like I said, she was kind of silly but she was very effective later in the film when the real action begins.

I loved [REC] but am not looking forward to the sequels. Watch [REC] and you’ll have a fast paced good time with a surprise or 2.

Things I like about movies made in a different language:

1) The lips never match the words – funny

2) Foreign films are cool

3) Hot foreign women

August Underground

I’ll admit it. This movie beat me. It was so disgusting I was not able to finish watching this tripe.

It has been described at the closest thing to an actual snuff film ever made. That’s certainly true enough but because it’s not makes it almost as sick. So-called Fred Vogel has produced something that proves he is not a film maker whatsoever.

The faces were ones never seen before in any film that I am aware of. Having this on their reel won’t help them get any other acting gig. No producer worth his salt would hire anyone even remotely associated with this movie.

The first thing we see is a woman tied to a chair. The camera, who is one of the participants in the film just holding a home video camera, shows us her beaten and bloodied body. Then he lingers on her breasts making sure we see that the left areola and nipple had been removed.

Then we have the privilege of seeing her boyfriend dead in the nearby bathtub. The boyfriend is missing his penis which we see is floating in the toilet, which is full of blood instead of water.

One of this duo loves the violence and killing while the other gets of videotaping their escapades. It’s a wonder he can video tape anything because he spends most of his time cackling like a maniac.

Video boy and his friend then decide it’s time to further humiliate this poor woman that they have tied up. She is sitting in her own urine and filth which is a cause for great hilarity between our two murderers. She has an apple stuck in her mouth like a roasted pig.

They pain her body with the filth thinking this is much more fun than skinning live animals. The skinning of live animals is something you could just imagine these two doing as kids. When animals became to mundane they moved on to the ultimate quarry.

A bit later one of them beats a woman to death. Just a random woman that was looking for a ride. They offered her money for oral sex and video boy stayed behind in the car cackling his head off while his buddy proceeded to put a beat down on the woman.

Back at their basement lair, one begins chopping up the dead boyfriend while camera boy starts shoving excrement into the woman’s mouth. Again, cackling all the way.

While this piece of trash is only 1 hour and 11 minutes long I was unable to finish watching it. Now, let me be clear; I have seen thousands of horror movies of every stripe. I have seen blood spattered gore fests aplenty but there was something about this movie that I can’t quite put my finger on.

It disgusts in a way that no other movie ever has. Perhaps it’s the realism achieved by using a home video camera along with no sense of direction and acting that can barely be described. Perhaps it’s how Fred Vogel shows no sense of art and that this movie has no value whatsoever.

Regardless, this movie is a vile piece of filth and somehow Vogel decided it was necessary to produce 2 more in the same vein: August Mordum and August Underground. I will not give either of these films even a cursory glance. As, I said earlier, I have seen thousands of films over my lifetime and nothing beat me us as much as this. Don’t bother with it under any circumstances. This is not a movie as much as it is an expression from deep in Fred Vogels’ psyche which is where it should have stayed. What were they thinking?

If they were out to produce the sickest film in history they might just have succeeded.

Things I liked about August Underground :

1) nothing

2) nothing

3) as much as I searched I could find nothing to like here

Blindness

A funny little movie about an epidemic of blindness that infects a city. It stars Mark Ruffalo and Julianne Moore, who I’ve never really liked but she is for the most part passable in this. But just barely. Now that my issues with Julianne Moore have been taken care of, on to the movie.

Blindness is a movie about a city that succumbs to a blindness in which they see only white. Everyone in town except the aforementioned Ms. Moore. Everyone becomes blind but it doesn’t happen all at once. One person then another then 3 more and on it went.

The government made certain to quarantine all of those who became blind but problems arose as the numbers of blind people continued to rise. The numbers rise and various problems pop up and the military guarding the old hospital that they are being housed in leaves them to their own devices.

So, doesn’t it come to pass that one group of blind quarantined folks decided they should run the joint. So they are able to snap up all the food when it’s delivered and decided to make all the others pay. You could, of course, decide not to pay but then you wouldn’t get any food. Since no one knew who put in what everyone would eat even if they had to share meals.

This was all fine and well as long as people had something to give; necklace, ring, watch or whatever. Of course they were going to run out of goods to trade for food. What ever could they exchange for food now? Oh, I wonder what a group of blind men could possibly want in return for food? Of course, they would want blind women. Hand over your women and get some food came the demand.

They thought this request over for about 1 minute and 30 seconds of film time. I’m not sure just how long a minute was in that world but they thought about handing over their women for a minute and a half. Fortunately the men didn’t force the women to do anything but neither did they suggest the women not do this. Sex for food seemed alright to the men in this dorm.

So off the women go and they do what they do and they get to eat. All is joy in the dorm except that one of the women was killed during their excursion but at least they have food. Food is the one thing people are willing to trade anything for, even their dignity.

While crap like this is happening it seems the entire city has now gone blind and there are no guards holding them in their make shift prison. So off they go a wandering through the city. One sighted woman leading a troupe of blind people behind her including a little boy who showed up in the quarantine area with no parent.

Our group of blind people and their sighted leader have an adventure or 2 while roaming around the city with other blind folks but it kind of bored me. In fact, the entire movie bored me. The end of the movie sees the 1^st person affected with this blindness regain his sight. It is around this point that the movie ends.

Do they all get their sight back? We don’t know. Why did this fellow have a spontaneous recovery? We don’t know. Why was it so easy, even in the face of hunger to turn over their women so that could all eat? I was concerned about the morality of that situation. Husbands were letting their wives leave their ward to perform sex acts in exchange for food. Only 1 man had any kind of serious objections to his wife doing this while another, played by Ruffalo, just sort of shrugged and said something like, “whatever you want to do based on whatever morality you have left.”

Until this point Ruffalo had been a leader. He was the guy people went to when they needed help solving some of the problems they confronted in their quarantine area. He was the go to guy. Then suddenly he gets so hungry that he has no qualms about his wife, played by Moore who was the only sighted person in the place, having sex with other men so that he can fill his belly. This situation was answered far too quickly with far too little discussion about the possible out comes or the future of their relationships. It was all about food now regardless of the consequences.

Other than that the movie pretty much bored me. It’s no wonder this flopped at the box office when it was released in ’08. I can see how this might do ok in DVD sales when you really don’t know what you’re getting.

 

The Cabin in the Woods

So, we have 5 college kids taking a weekend vacation at a friend’s cabin in the woods. On the way to the cabin they run into a cranky old man who gives them a warning about the cabin and he’s just creepy to boot. Don’t all these movies start out exactly like this? It must in the horror 101 handbook.

So you’ve seen this all before right? You’ve got your party girl, a jock, a virgin type an egg head and a stoner.  Typical setup for a horror about a cabin in the woods. It doesn’t take long before we learn just how different this movies is going to be. Sad for you that I’m just not gonna tell ya what it is.

Our happy crew is partying on their first night and we get out first shock; a cellar door pops open. Never, in these kinds of movies do the kids leave thing alone and that’s true here too. Before long all 5 are in the cellar exploring the dusty crap that inhabits most cellars and basements.

Drug boy has the right idea when he suggests that this is all too weird and they need to return to the living room above. Does or crew listen to drug boy? Of course not. The begin fingering everything and before long they discover a manuscript written by a woman in 1903. For some reason they find it necessary to read the manuscript.

Weed boy still tells them that they should stop but who listens to a pothead? On the virgin reads until she comes across a verse in Latin. Stoned boy insists they not read the Latin, maybe he’s seen these kinds of movies before, but they don’t listen and on maiden reads.

Driven by lust, the tramp and her jock boyfriend head off into the woods for some moonlit lovin’.  Of course this is when the hi jinx begin. Fun and games with a family of killer zombies, are there any other kind?

Killer zombies can only mean one thing; dead college students. And sure enough this script is written like all the others and is predictable. Yup, it’s predictable alright except for one thing.

It is this one thing, this dynamic that moves this movie a notch above all the other kids in the woods movies. One by one the kids die but by about half way through we know what’s happening. It’s pretty amazing if you stop and think about it and you will, or at least you should.

Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins are so much fun to watch. For most of the movie they truly look like they are enjoying themselves. The rest of the cast is fine for a screamer horror movie.

Now, I mentioned there was something distinctly different about this movie and the end is just phenomenal. It puts an entire new spin on an otherwise tired genre. So if you find yourselves bored with your average run of the mill horror flick about kids in a cabin in the woods then this is one to watch. Did I mention that it’s different?

I would really, really love to tell you about that secret. You know, the one that makes this kids in the woods movie different, better I’m not certain, but it adds a very different element. I really wanna tell you…

Why don’t like woods:

1) Bugs

2) Wild Animals

3) It’s uncomfortable